Sun in My Clouds: Jobless One Minute, Husband Cheating the Next

Editor’s Note: “Sun in My Clouds” is a work of fiction by storyteller Julia Blues.

I try to rewind the last few hours of my life. How did I get here? Jobless one minute, husband cheating on me with not only my best friend, but my only friend. Tears burn my eyes as I down the twelfth donut. I couldn’t care less how many calories sit in my belly at this moment.

“You could’ve saved one for me,” my mom says.

“We can go get more.”

She shakes her head. “I know this day has been messed up, but you don’t want to mess up all the hard work you’ve done with your personal trainer.”

I wipe away a fresh batch of tears with sticky fingers. Feel like such a gluttonous fool. I can’t even say my ex-best friend’s name.

“I told you Prince Charming wasn’t all he was cracked up to be. And Michelle always thought she was better than you just because she was ten sizes smaller than you. She should’ve followed your lead and ate a burger or two so she wouldn’t look sick. Those two deserve each other.”

Though Mom is trying to make me feel better, she makes me feel worse with her “I told you so” and “you’re no size two.” Yeah, they may deserve each other, but don’t I deserve to be loved, too?

Natasha Bedingfield’s voice booms through my cell phone about finding a love like this.

I want to grab it from my purse and smash it against the fireplace. A love like that would not be in our garage with my best friend. The phone keeps ringing, back to back, nonstop.

My mom reaches for my phone. “Let me answer it.”

“And say what?”

“Tell him about himself.”

That makes me chuckle a little. It wouldn’t be the first time she had to tell him about himself. She’s never liked Jason. Said there was something about him that just wasn’t genuine.

If only I had listened.

I shut the power to my phone off. “What am I going to do?”

Mom sits on the sofa next to me, wraps her arm around me and ushers me to lean against her shoulder. “You’re going to go out there and add some spice to your life.”

I lift my head from her shoulder and give her an incredulous look. “Mom, I’m nothing like you. I can’t just go out there and find a man.”

“And why not?”

“Look at me,” I say as if there needs to be anything more to explain.

She picks up a napkin from the coffee table, dips it in my cup of water. Daps at icing and tears stuck to my face. “Nicci, you’ve got to stop being hard on yourself. If you don’t think you’re worthy, nobody will.”

ABOUT JULIA: Julia Blues is a storyteller on a mission, and that mission is to help people live better lives with every story she tells.  Currently residing in South Carolina, her bags are all packed and she’s ready to hit the road to see what life has to offer in sunny Southern California.  For more ofJulia Blues, visit www.JuliaBlues.com.