While having children out of wedlock used to have a stigma largely attached to minorities and the poor, the New York Times has examined recent statistics that define a new normal. 

“Once largely limited to poor women and minorities, motherhood without marriage has settled deeply into middle America. The fastest growth in the last two decades has occurred among white women in their 20s who have some college education but no four-year degree, according to Child Trends, a Washington research group that analyzed government data.

Among mothers of all ages, a majority — 59 percent in 2009 — are married when they have children. But the surge of births outside marriage among younger women — nearly two-thirds of children in the United States are born to mothers under 30 — is both a symbol of the transforming family and a hint of coming generational change.”

“Marriage has become a luxury good,” Frank Furstenberg tells NYT.

But is this a change for the better. According to the report, “researchers have consistently found that children born outside marriage face elevated risks of falling into poverty, failing in school or suffering emotional and behavioral problems.”

Since learning the tragic news of Whitney Houston’s death, like many others, we have have been stunned and saddened trying to think of the right words to pay tribute to an icon. 

Her soul-stirring voice, her heartfelt lyrics touched us in a career that spanned decades — before a somewhat ugly turn that we won’t ever speculate about here.

But one article in particular that caught our attention is the tribute from ESPN — yes, the sports network — about how Houston’s music inspired female athletes.

“‘#OneMomentInTime has propelled me to many of my grand slams victories. #whitneyhouston,’” Serena Williams tweeted Saturday night after Houston’s death.

Little girls in gyms and on courts across the nation drew inspiration from Houston’s ability to rock stages and screens. Her powerful vocals and take-charge attitude fueled their drive to win.

Fem-friendly anthem “I’m Every Woman,” which topped the dance charts in 1993, was great in-arena music for Manon Rheaume’s debut as the first, and to this day only, woman to play in an NHL exhibition game.

And in 1995, as “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” hit No. 1 on the Billboard charts, Anne Donovan was inducted into the Naismith Hall of Fame, Swoopes became the first woman with her own Nike shoe, and the UConn women’s basketball team breezed to a 35-0 record and national title,” the article notes.

We thought this article was a fun yet poignant angle of Houston’s influence — the idea that little girls (and women) everywhere pushed themselves even further with her encouragement.

Being an introvert is no reason not to find a job that fits your personality. 

We found a great little post on Yahoo! Education about the subject and we wanted to share a few snippets.

Here are five careers that “are open to people who fall on the more bashful side of the spectrum,” Lisa Andrews, director of career services at the University of Maryland University College, tells Yahoo!.

“Any position where you work with data and ideas instead of people would be ideal careers for introverted people,” she says.

Career #1: Graphic Designer

Related degrees: Bachelor’s degree in graphic design or fine arts

Average earnings: $48,140*

Career # 2: Accountant

Related degrees: Bachelor’s degree in accounting or finance

Average earnings: $68,960*

Career #3: Computer Programmer

Related degrees: Bachelor’s degree in computer programming often required

Average earnings: $74,900*

Career #4: Actuary

Related degrees: Bachelor’s degree in areas like mathematics and statistics

Average earnings: $98,620*

Career #5: Dental Technician

Related degrees: Dental technicians must have a high school diploma. Formal education is available in the form of accredited dental laboratory technology programs

Average earnings: $37,980*

*All salary data comes from the U.S. Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics and is based upon median earnings from May 2010. Read full Yahoo! article here. 

Editor’s Note: Shae Freeman offers this four-part series, “Creative Ways to Get Kids to Eat Fruits & Veggies,” giving advice about how to get the kids to eat the good stuff.

Part 1: Popeye Doesn’t Really Inspire Kids to Eat Spinach
Part 2: Kids Don’t Mind Drinking Fruits & Veggies
Part 3: If Kids Don’t See Veggies, They’re Not There

Offer Options

Sometimes, offering your child options as to what vegetable or fruit they can have will make getting them to eat it easier. You are giving them just a little bit of independence by letting them make a choice, while at the same time ensuring that they still eat what is best for them.

Ultimately, you will be more successful at getting your children to eat better if you lead by example. The above options work well for adults too (especially juicing, I am a huge fan of this). Start making it a habit for the entire family to start shopping and preparing the vegetables and fruits that are going to be eaten together. If possible, consuming the produce raw (and possibly organic if within budget) is best for the highest nutritional value.

About Shae Freeman:

Shae’s passion has always been in writing and medicine, so combining the two was a perfect fit! Her medical background began with the birth of her oldest son who is a hero in his own right fighting for awareness of his rare birth disorder known as Klippel Trenaunay Syndrome. Her educational background includes Medical Assisting, Emergency Medicine (she is currently a registered EMT) and Nursing –which later she starting teaching CPR around Phoenix. In 2004, Shae started advocating for families with kids who were born with various disorders, and began her own charity in 2007 known as The Because I Care Foundation, Inc. Recently, Shae decided to further her medical career by becoming a paramedic, from which she is due to finish in the summer of 2012.

Website: http://www.socialbutterflyshae.com/

I’ve come into contact with many ladies who are searching for their purpose.  Whether they’ve experienced life-altering circumstances or simply turned 30, they are trying to figure out what they can do so that they can get more joy and fulfillment out of life.

Realize that it’s not about you.

People should first recognize that purpose is synonymous with leaving the world a better place than you left it.  The greats are remembered for the impact that their contribution made in the world.

Revisit your past.

In keeping with the idea that a human being’s purpose is to affect the world in some way, consider where you’ve been and what you’ve overcome.  Don’t be ashamed to acknowledge it.  When I call my mentors for help,  they can do so because they’ve been there.  Recounting your journey can make someone else’s easier.

Listen to your heart.

Don’t force something based on what’s popular or what seems to make the most money.  When you find that thing that you would do for people 24/7, that thing that brings a smile to your face, you’ve found your sweet spot.  Your purpose.

New years are like vacations.  Highly anticipated and talked about.  You get there and before you know it, it’s half over – or, in our case, one-twelfth over.

Have you gotten started on everything that you said you would?

The first thing that you should remember it that slipping up or missing a day doesn’t mean that all is lost.  Just start over.

Here are a few tips to keep you on task:

• Take some time to plan.

Planning is a large part of the battle.  It’s important that you make time for exercise, work, research and whatever else that you’ve got going on.  Taking quiet time the night before to schedule the next day works wonders.

• Change your scenery.

It’s easy to get a case of the “blahs,” especially in the wintertime.  Remodel a bit.  Think of little things that you can do to dress up your space and keep you excited.  Change the shower curtain and bath mats.  Grab some baskets and organizers in bright colors.  Put fresh flowers on your dining room table and have dinner family style.  Switch up the exercise music on your iPod.  You want to stay upbeat and motivated.

• Get an accountability partner.

Find at least one other person who has talked about being on the upswing.  Check in with them on a weekly basis.  Motivate them and allow them to motivate you!

Editor’s Note: Shae Freeman offers this four-part series, “Creative Ways to Get Kids to Eat Fruits & Veggies,” giving advice about how to get the kids to eat the good stuff.

Part 1: Popeye Doesn’t Really Inspire Kids to Eat Spinach
Part 2: Kids Don’t Mind Drinking Fruits & Veggies 

If They Don’t See It, It’s Not There

Let’s face it, some kids are just too smart, too choosy about what they eat and too determined to never let a fruit or vegetable cross their lips.

This means its time for mom and dad to get a little more creative.

There are a ton of meals and desserts that can be made with vegetable or fruit puree mixed in it. The best part is, you can’t even taste it. My absolute favorite place to get recipes from is www.thesneakychef.com. Things such as the chocolate “Brainy Brownies” contain hidden ingredients like spinach, blueberries and wheat germ. You’ll know it’s in there….but the kids won’t ever taste it!

About Shae Freeman:
Shae’s passion has always been in writing and medicine, so combining the two was a perfect fit! Her medical background began with the birth of her oldest son who is a hero in his own right fighting for awareness of his rare birth disorder known as Klippel Trenaunay Syndrome. Her educational background includes Medical Assisting, Emergency Medicine (she is currently a registered EMT) and Nursing –which later she starting teaching CPR around Phoenix. In 2004, Shae started advocating for families with kids who were born with various disorders, and began her own charity in 2007 known as The Because I Care Foundation, Inc. Recently, Shae decided to further her medical career by becoming a paramedic, from which she is due to finish in the summer of 2012.
Website: http://www.socialbutterflyshae.com/

Editor’s Note: This is the final installment of “Sun in My Clouds,” work of fiction by storyteller Julia Blues. 

Jason and I are officially separated. We have to remain separated legally for one year before we can file for divorce.

Of course, I had a temporary lapse and considered us possibly working things out. Quickly, I regained my sanity.

Michelle and I are still on non-speaking terms. If I have it my way, it will remain that way. Nothing good can come from a friendship when there’s no trust. In the end she wasn’t on my team. Letting her go was a good decision.

As far as I know those two are still together. I wish them nothing but the best.

When I got home from the cruise I set the wheels in motion to open my bakery. I’m in the process of obtaining a business loan. If all goes well, In the Nic of Pie will be opening its doors in the spring. Had my mom not sown that seed in my spirit, the idea of working for myself never would have been a thought in my mind. Thanks to her, and even my stepdad sowing a financial seed, I am well on my way.

Steven and I did meet up again, several times at that, on the cruise. We talk just about every night. He’s a great guy who appreciates this journey I’m on. He’s been divorced for a little over six years. They have joint custody of their four-year-old daughter. With him living in Arizona and me in North Carolina, it’s going to be a challenge for us to see each other. I can’t say he’ll be my next husband, but I will say he’s a good place to start.

Who knows, with all the other changes in my life, maybe adding a little more spice to my life will be just what the doctor ordered.

If you missed any part of Nicci’s journey, get caught up! Read:
Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
Part seven 

ABOUT JULIA: Julia Blues is a storyteller on a mission, and that mission is to help people live better lives with every story she tells.  Currently residing in South Carolina, her bags are all packed and she’s ready to hit the road to see what life has to offer in sunny Southern California.  For more of Julia Blues, visit www.JuliaBlues.com.

A few weeks ago, I had the exciting opportunity to take Oldest Daughter to yet another audition.  You see, at the ripe old age of twelve, my big girl is taking action to live the life of her dreams too.

We had to leave the house very early on a weekday–which meant that I needed major help to get everyone else where they needed to go.  The Head of Household a.k.a Hubby was at work.  All of the tasks for the day fell on me.

My cell phone served as the command center for Mission Impossible— no, Mission Unstoppable.  Thankfully, Teenager was off from school.  I had never been so excited about some random day of teacher’s meetings.  Oldest Son was immediately recruited for Mission Unstoppable.

While it was still dark out, I watched Auntie carefully lead Eight-year-old daughter down icy steps and to her car. Eight-year-old and her solar system project where in good hands. I closed my front door and breathed a short sigh of relief.  One down.  A few more to go.

With her bag all packed, Oldest Daughter reminded me that we had to stop and pick her up a lunch.  I grumbled.  A few minutes could easily throw us off.  We’d gotten snow the night before.  My car behaved as if it had forgotten how to move through a little ice.

This is Chicago, I reminded it.  You can do this.  I pressed the gas hard to jolt its memory and it worked.  We roared out of the parking space and stopped at a convenience store to pick up a few snacks.  We avoided traffic, narrowly missed an accident and got there on time.

While Oldest Daughter warmed up, I coached Teenager through dressing his two youngest siblings.  White shirts.  Blue pants.  Shoes on the table.  Shoes not on the table?  Maybe the puppy grabbed them.  Look around.

As we waited for Oldest Daughter’s number to be called, a text came in that Grandad had picked up the Little Ones and they had been successfully dropped off at school.

I think that I grinned all day. Whether we are juggling practices, games, performances, or work schedules, it always works out.  Things don’t always run smoothly or easily, but they get done.  And that’s the important part.

This month is National Mentoring Month .

The focus is typically on providing positive influence for youth and we like this call to action for more women to become involved as well.

“But there is another way forward – women can also help themselves through mentoring,” writes Cherie Blair in the Huffington Post. “I’m not referring to women seeking mentors, important as that is. Rather, I want to focus on women becoming mentors themselves. Women who mentor others experience benefits to their own careers in the process of helping someone else.”

Blair goes on to give five reasons why women should become mentors:

•  Build up leadership skills
•  Expand your horizons
• Network with like-minded businessmen & women
• Revitalize interest in your own career
• Give back to others in need

We love the idea of giving just to give, just to make help someone else out. And Blair is right; typically, when you help someone, someone else comes along to help you — just at the right moment.

Related: How to Find (and Learn From) Your Mentor